Not as dainty as most girls.
My muscles aren't so attractive.
Not some dimwitted broad.
Not as jealous as I could be.
Lacking that trait called patience.
Not tolerant of crap.
Not likely to give a second chance.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Thoughts
I am spending yet another night watching love based movies while browsing blogs. Why do I lack a life? Why don't I make an effort to befriend people nearby? Honestly.. I can't even be bothered to make an effort to please anyone. True, I get lonely and bored and I should probably do something about it, but I've found that I'm almost always the person who goes out of their way to start a friendship or maintain a friendship. I've just gotten tired of it, and I want the other person to make the first move. That's understandable, right? I think it makes sense, but that's why I think it. :p
Moving on. I'm still craving a lover. I mean, I don't know. Calling them a lover sounds like I'm just trying to find someone to have casual sex with or something, and that's just not acceptable. I want someone to cuddle with. I want someone that I can curl up with and watch chick flicks with and stuff. Is it so much to ask for someone like that? Someone who would be fine with not being all sexual and weird? Frick. Frick frick frick. It's only been like.. five months? Since my last boyfriend. That's not long at all. I'm just scared that the five months might turn into a year and a half and then I'll do something out of being desperate. Although isn't wanting to have a boyfriend this badly just as bad as being desperate enough to make a mistake? It is, isn't it? Flip a kangaroo. I just can't think straight. It's like everyone around me is finding someone to be lovely dovey with except for me. Well, me and my best guy friend. And we're both wanting to have a lover, ha ha.
You know that taste you get in your mouth after not brushing your teeth for a while? Yeah I don't really like that. By a while, I mean like a few hours after you eat something. I don't know, ha ha. I just know it grosses me out like no other!!
I can hardly keep my thoughts going.. I so thought I had more. This movie is distracting me!! It's called Bicentennial Man, and it's a good movie. I believe that you all should watch it. :]
Moving on. I'm still craving a lover. I mean, I don't know. Calling them a lover sounds like I'm just trying to find someone to have casual sex with or something, and that's just not acceptable. I want someone to cuddle with. I want someone that I can curl up with and watch chick flicks with and stuff. Is it so much to ask for someone like that? Someone who would be fine with not being all sexual and weird? Frick. Frick frick frick. It's only been like.. five months? Since my last boyfriend. That's not long at all. I'm just scared that the five months might turn into a year and a half and then I'll do something out of being desperate. Although isn't wanting to have a boyfriend this badly just as bad as being desperate enough to make a mistake? It is, isn't it? Flip a kangaroo. I just can't think straight. It's like everyone around me is finding someone to be lovely dovey with except for me. Well, me and my best guy friend. And we're both wanting to have a lover, ha ha.
You know that taste you get in your mouth after not brushing your teeth for a while? Yeah I don't really like that. By a while, I mean like a few hours after you eat something. I don't know, ha ha. I just know it grosses me out like no other!!
I can hardly keep my thoughts going.. I so thought I had more. This movie is distracting me!! It's called Bicentennial Man, and it's a good movie. I believe that you all should watch it. :]
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Good Things In Life
- Home made black berry cobler.
- Getting hugs from cute strangers.
- Having friends that care about you.
- The days where you can lounge around the house without feeling bad.
- Seeing your reflection and knowing you're beautiful.
- Being in love.
- Family that support you and your dreams.
- A good nights rest.
- Being able to recover from a stumble [speaking emotions here].
- Moose tracks ice cream.
- The confidence booster you get when a babe smiles at you.
- Long bubble baths.
- The feeling of being part of something bigger.
- Having a job you like.
- Being able to have the same mentality as Coco Chanel [even though I don't]
- Remembering all the good things in life.
- Good music when you're in a bad mood.
- Looking fantastic when you feel like shit.
- When you find a sweater that's flattering on you.
- The smell of a new car.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I'm just too needy.
All I want is some attention. Is that so bad? I'm a normal teenage girl. Normal teenage girls generally crave attention unless they're super duper freakishly self conscious or some nonsense like that. It just happens. Anyways, I'm dying a little from not having the amount of attention I'm craving. I mean shoot, it's currently at the point that I'm actually thinking of hanging out with my ex!! Not one of the cool ones that I found to be unbelievably hot or anything, no. I'm thinking of the most recent one that I broke it off with because he was just.. Well lets just say that I rushed because I was excited and yeah. He's a sweet guy though, and he's fun to talk to. We haven't hung out in months, but we're going to kick it tomorrow afternoon. The point is, the main reason behind me hanging out with him is because I'm fairly certain that if/when we hang out, I will get the attention I desire and probably then some. Assuming he still finds me even the least little bit attractive and all, which I'm hoping he does. Either way I will be hanging out with a guy that I don't see on a daily basis and that will be more than fine with me. Switch it up a little, ha ha.
Baby
Depending on the person, this little name can be either a massive insult or a loving pet name. For the most part, I dislike being called 'baby' and/or any form of that word. It makes me feel like just another tally to put down on the person's chart. I just don't like it, you know? It's perfectly understandable. It can be shallow. But moving on!!
How can this pet name be an insult? Easy. Imagine this: you're at a club or a bar or walking down the street or just about ANYWHERE, and you hear this weird heavy voice say "Hey baby.." So you turn around because when a voice says something like that and you're reasonably close to the source, you're bound to be a little interested in who it's directed at. Well, the monster behind the voice is some over weight slob. Greasy clothes, slimy hair, unattractive crooked smile. The source is a pigmonster! You don't want to be called baby by a pigmonster, right?! I didn't think so. Especially when you know the foul beast just wants in your cute little panties!! It's just not ok! But for some reason, many of these said beasts think that by calling attractive women baby before making a big move will increase their chance/is perfectly acceptable. Well it's not! It's offensive and nobody likes it so stop!
It's obvious how it can express the love that someone has for another though. I mean, couples call each other baby/babe all the time and they have for years! It's nothing new, and it's often portrayed in the media and what not as a form of admiration.
Anyways.. Just had to get that out there.
How can this pet name be an insult? Easy. Imagine this: you're at a club or a bar or walking down the street or just about ANYWHERE, and you hear this weird heavy voice say "Hey baby.." So you turn around because when a voice says something like that and you're reasonably close to the source, you're bound to be a little interested in who it's directed at. Well, the monster behind the voice is some over weight slob. Greasy clothes, slimy hair, unattractive crooked smile. The source is a pigmonster! You don't want to be called baby by a pigmonster, right?! I didn't think so. Especially when you know the foul beast just wants in your cute little panties!! It's just not ok! But for some reason, many of these said beasts think that by calling attractive women baby before making a big move will increase their chance/is perfectly acceptable. Well it's not! It's offensive and nobody likes it so stop!
It's obvious how it can express the love that someone has for another though. I mean, couples call each other baby/babe all the time and they have for years! It's nothing new, and it's often portrayed in the media and what not as a form of admiration.
Anyways.. Just had to get that out there.
Things I Don't Like
- When websites take forever to load, and then not end up loading.
- When you see a super cutie but don't have the guts to go talk to him.
- Girls who think they're hot stuff, but they're annoying and nobody likes them.
- Not having a large social circle.
- Lacking the courage to just go out and start talking to a cutie.
- Wanting to have someone to snuggle with and not making any effort to find someone.
- Lacking the motivation to get up and do something with myself.
- Being out of shape.
- Trying to think of 10 things I don't like.
- Not having the confidence to wear the cute outfits that I would die to pull off.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Babbling
I have been watching nothing but romantic movies for the past several days. It's a sign, I swear. A sign for what? I'm not entirely sure. I just know that it's making me really want someone to curl up with. You know? I want to be able to have a special boy that I can just.. Call up and ask to come cuddle with me while we watch silly movies and talk about an array of topics ranging from your typical "What's new?" to more in depth topics such as "What if everything you know is a lie?", that would just be so fantastic. Sip on some tea, lights off.
I know I'm only seventeen, and I know that things that I'm wanting aren't really realistic at all for someone of my age. A girl can hope though, right? All girls do. Every girl has an unrealistic thing that she craves from time to time. My unrealistic hope is to find a mature, attractive boy that I can see on a fairly regular basis without feeling obligated to have a make out sesh. Sure, the occasional make out dealio is all fun and what not, but I don't want that to be the life root of the relationship. I've been there and done that, I don't want to go deal with it again. It's just not who I am.
I am not one of those girls who has low self esteem, and feels the need to throw herself out there in order to maintain a fun relationship. I have loads of self esteem, not quite enough to be a complete doucher, but certainly enough to keep me grounded. Boys who think that they can just guilt trip you into doing anything or force you to do anything or anything along those lines aren't worth the effort. It's not that I have high standards or anything, it's just I don't like being pestered about doing this or that or anything like that. I want to go at my own pace. I want to go at my own pace, and I feel that with today's standards I can't really do that.
Speaking of standards.. What the fuck is with double standards?!! Seriously, it's ridiculous. If boys were held to the same damn standards that girls were, so many of them would be total sluts. Where the hell do guys get off on being able to boss girls around? I know it's an age old dealio with the whole men being the boss or whatever. They have always been the head hanchos and what not. Yes, they've always had more or less the same intentions since the beginning of time. Puberty hits and the sex drive is on! Yeah, girls are pretty similar to that as well. Although some of us, or at least I do, control/disguise the urges and what not. How often, in person and not online, do girls get really pervy and demanding in the sexual sense? It's just yeah.. I don't know. So obnoxious, and it definitely kills whatever attraction I have/could have for that individual. Although there's been times where I can look past it with quite a bit of ease.
Anyways, I feel like this is more than enough. Oh and I like this movie.. It's really hilarious. I shall post all about it when it gets over!! It's called Table for Three. :]
I know I'm only seventeen, and I know that things that I'm wanting aren't really realistic at all for someone of my age. A girl can hope though, right? All girls do. Every girl has an unrealistic thing that she craves from time to time. My unrealistic hope is to find a mature, attractive boy that I can see on a fairly regular basis without feeling obligated to have a make out sesh. Sure, the occasional make out dealio is all fun and what not, but I don't want that to be the life root of the relationship. I've been there and done that, I don't want to go deal with it again. It's just not who I am.
I am not one of those girls who has low self esteem, and feels the need to throw herself out there in order to maintain a fun relationship. I have loads of self esteem, not quite enough to be a complete doucher, but certainly enough to keep me grounded. Boys who think that they can just guilt trip you into doing anything or force you to do anything or anything along those lines aren't worth the effort. It's not that I have high standards or anything, it's just I don't like being pestered about doing this or that or anything like that. I want to go at my own pace. I want to go at my own pace, and I feel that with today's standards I can't really do that.
Speaking of standards.. What the fuck is with double standards?!! Seriously, it's ridiculous. If boys were held to the same damn standards that girls were, so many of them would be total sluts. Where the hell do guys get off on being able to boss girls around? I know it's an age old dealio with the whole men being the boss or whatever. They have always been the head hanchos and what not. Yes, they've always had more or less the same intentions since the beginning of time. Puberty hits and the sex drive is on! Yeah, girls are pretty similar to that as well. Although some of us, or at least I do, control/disguise the urges and what not. How often, in person and not online, do girls get really pervy and demanding in the sexual sense? It's just yeah.. I don't know. So obnoxious, and it definitely kills whatever attraction I have/could have for that individual. Although there's been times where I can look past it with quite a bit of ease.
Anyways, I feel like this is more than enough. Oh and I like this movie.. It's really hilarious. I shall post all about it when it gets over!! It's called Table for Three. :]
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Worst Date Ever!!!
Alright, it's kind of old news.. I mean it happened back in October or something. Anyways, I'm relatively certain it tops any other worst dates I've heard of, ha ha. Lets start off with how this guy looked.. This guy was a total babe. I mean, seriously the sexiest guy I have ever seen in those pants that hang below their toosh. He was ripped, sooo much muscle but not enough for it to look weird and gross. He had gorgeous light blue eyes that I could see my reflection in. His smile was so alluring, I loved it. He had short blond hair, but on this date it was sometime around Halloween and he had dyed half his head black.. ha ha. It looked hilarious, but whatever. He was still adorable. His personality was always upbeat and silly. It was always fun to be around him, ha ha. Oh and he had such an amazing tan, it was so even and golden. A real tan, ha ha.
Now it's time for the background info on this sweetie. I met him through a friend of mine. Her boyfriend was his best friend, and the guy had been single for a while. He had gotten out of a bad relationship and was trying to get over it, you know? And what better cure than to go out and date other people? Shallow, but effective. I had been single for a few months and figured what the hell, it'd be fun. I had met him once before and he seemed really cocky and lame, but we exchanged numbers and started to get to know each other. About a month later [it's now October] and we decide to go on a double date. My friend, her boyfriend, the guy, and myself. We were going to find a haunted house and be all cliche, right? Well the first day kind of failed because we couldn't find a haunted house, but the second time was better because we knew exactly where we were going.
My friend and her boyfriend picked me up from work around seven or eight and then we headed off to go pick up the guy. I had a little head ache, as usual, and was feeling sickly. This was a total norm for me because the smell of raw pizza stuff always made me start to feel sick and stuff, I'm not sure why but that's just the way that it went. Anywho, so we go and we pick up the babe. We're heading to the place when I start feeling dizzy and what not, so I roll down the window and let the rain smack me in the face and what not, hoping the fresh air and water will make me feel a bit better. I start to feel my stomach churn so I ask if we can pull over. We begin to pull over to the side of the high way [yeah, the high way, in the middle of the night, wow] and before we're even all the way over, I begin to hurl. I covered my mouth before it actually came out, but it was really intense and got on the door a little bit. I had opened the door so that I wouldn't make a bigger mess than I had. There was a nice four foot line of my nifty vomit on the high way. It got in my hair. It got on the car. It got on my clothes. I was dying of embarrassment so I jumped out and finished my moment in the grass. Afterwords I went and sat in the ditch, hoping the pouring down rain would wash most of the yucky stuff off my face. Everyone in the car was panicking, thinking I was going to die ha ha. It was kind of humorous.
After about fifteen minutes I get back in the car, and everyone was asking if I was alright and if I wanted to keep going or if I rather go back home. I decided to go back home because I was still feeling sick. About half way back, my date turns to me and asks if I would like to take a quick shower at his place, and being disgusted at my situation I said sure. I was supposed to stay the night at someone's house anyways so I had some extra clothes with me. We get back to his place and I take a much needed shower. Then the feeling of puking comes flying back.. I run from the kitchen [I had gotten some water after the shower to wash the taste out of my mouth] to the bathroom that I had taken the shower in. I lean over the toilet and start hurling, the door still open. My date's cousin [who was a bit older] walks past the door, then walks back and stands in the door way. He asked me if I was going to puke.. I nodded my head. Then he asked if I had already puked in the toilet, and again I nodded my head. After this nod he laughs a little and informs me that the toilet I had just soiled with junks of apple isn't hooked up. How was I supposed to know this?! I took as shower in there, and the sink in there worked, anyone would have assumed that it was hooked up. Although I probably should have noticed that there wasn't any water in the bowl... But when you're on the verge of covering yourself with vomit again, are you really going to sit down and make sure the toilet works?!
Anyways.. That was my worst date. My friend took me home after that and I felt like I was going to die. It was horrific. It was hilarious. It will hopefully never happen again. :]
Now it's time for the background info on this sweetie. I met him through a friend of mine. Her boyfriend was his best friend, and the guy had been single for a while. He had gotten out of a bad relationship and was trying to get over it, you know? And what better cure than to go out and date other people? Shallow, but effective. I had been single for a few months and figured what the hell, it'd be fun. I had met him once before and he seemed really cocky and lame, but we exchanged numbers and started to get to know each other. About a month later [it's now October] and we decide to go on a double date. My friend, her boyfriend, the guy, and myself. We were going to find a haunted house and be all cliche, right? Well the first day kind of failed because we couldn't find a haunted house, but the second time was better because we knew exactly where we were going.
My friend and her boyfriend picked me up from work around seven or eight and then we headed off to go pick up the guy. I had a little head ache, as usual, and was feeling sickly. This was a total norm for me because the smell of raw pizza stuff always made me start to feel sick and stuff, I'm not sure why but that's just the way that it went. Anywho, so we go and we pick up the babe. We're heading to the place when I start feeling dizzy and what not, so I roll down the window and let the rain smack me in the face and what not, hoping the fresh air and water will make me feel a bit better. I start to feel my stomach churn so I ask if we can pull over. We begin to pull over to the side of the high way [yeah, the high way, in the middle of the night, wow] and before we're even all the way over, I begin to hurl. I covered my mouth before it actually came out, but it was really intense and got on the door a little bit. I had opened the door so that I wouldn't make a bigger mess than I had. There was a nice four foot line of my nifty vomit on the high way. It got in my hair. It got on the car. It got on my clothes. I was dying of embarrassment so I jumped out and finished my moment in the grass. Afterwords I went and sat in the ditch, hoping the pouring down rain would wash most of the yucky stuff off my face. Everyone in the car was panicking, thinking I was going to die ha ha. It was kind of humorous.
After about fifteen minutes I get back in the car, and everyone was asking if I was alright and if I wanted to keep going or if I rather go back home. I decided to go back home because I was still feeling sick. About half way back, my date turns to me and asks if I would like to take a quick shower at his place, and being disgusted at my situation I said sure. I was supposed to stay the night at someone's house anyways so I had some extra clothes with me. We get back to his place and I take a much needed shower. Then the feeling of puking comes flying back.. I run from the kitchen [I had gotten some water after the shower to wash the taste out of my mouth] to the bathroom that I had taken the shower in. I lean over the toilet and start hurling, the door still open. My date's cousin [who was a bit older] walks past the door, then walks back and stands in the door way. He asked me if I was going to puke.. I nodded my head. Then he asked if I had already puked in the toilet, and again I nodded my head. After this nod he laughs a little and informs me that the toilet I had just soiled with junks of apple isn't hooked up. How was I supposed to know this?! I took as shower in there, and the sink in there worked, anyone would have assumed that it was hooked up. Although I probably should have noticed that there wasn't any water in the bowl... But when you're on the verge of covering yourself with vomit again, are you really going to sit down and make sure the toilet works?!
Anyways.. That was my worst date. My friend took me home after that and I felt like I was going to die. It was horrific. It was hilarious. It will hopefully never happen again. :]
I trimmed my bangs this morning
Today I'm going to check out some cars. Two are Honda Civic Hatchbacks from 1990. Then there's some other car that I can't remember what it is, but it has a nifty mp3 jack so that would mean I could jam out to my iPod while driving, and the last one.. I forgot that one too, but it was cheap! That's the main thing I was looking for.. Something under $2000. :]
Anywho.. Time to go make some phone calls!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
It's Friday night & what am I doing?
Sitting in my bed obsession over Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He's just so gorgeous!! Plus it's the first night of Spring Break and I'm not a very social individual. Anyways, JGL.. He's lovely and has an amazing singing voice. Have you ever heard him sing?! Oh my gawd it's amazing, I mean.. It seriously makes me want to melt. Plus he speaks beautiful French. <3 I would love to marry him, ha ha. He's just so cute, I can't stop obsessing over it!! I mean shoot, even as a kid he was adorable. Now he's a man and I would love for him to be mine, ha ha.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to try and marry a look a like. :]
I'm pretty sure I'm going to try and marry a look a like. :]
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Oh so lazy...
So I've been running for 30 minutes everyday since Monday, but today I just can't run. I mean.. I made it to 5 minutes, but I just couldn't keep going. I feel so insanely lazy.. Oh well. I do believe I'll just start a weekend long fast tomorrow then next week I'll do a liquid fast. That way I'll keep my calorie intake to a minimum and won't feel so bad about not working out as much as I should. Granted.. It's unhealthy but I just want to get smaller so damn badly!! Plus I go about doing all of this the healthy way for the most part [eating healthy, small portions, exercise, and so on] so it's not like I'm going to make this whole eating-the-bare-minimum dealio a new life style.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Mini self obsession moment
So on Thursday I thought I looked adorable so when I got home from school I took my camera and tripod outside, found a nice place with decent lighting, and voila!! These are the products of said event:
My dinner on March 11
Anyways, delicious dinner.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I haven't posted anything in forever
Sorry about that, hah. There's nothing new really.. But I felt like posting something just to be like HEY! I'M ALIVE!! So that's what this is.
Oh and I now have a classic acoustic guitar. I know nothing about guitars, but my Grandma left it to me in her will soooooo now I have one. I'm going to teach myself how to play. Wish me luck!!
Oh and I now have a classic acoustic guitar. I know nothing about guitars, but my Grandma left it to me in her will soooooo now I have one. I'm going to teach myself how to play. Wish me luck!!
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